Well, it has not been easy. We have had a whole heap of orcs, elves, dwarves and a wizard that keeps going off piste to contend with. You may say two thirds in but in actuality, it feels like I have hardly left the Shire.That is in fact the issue I wanted to pick up with you. Whilst I commend your enchanted ability to stay alive, given the odds sometimes stacked against you, what would you say that you have really achieved?
I have lots of material for my book! Indeed, probably more than I will manage to fit in to what will be a children's book. I have found a rather useful ring.Yes. The ring. Found?
Not exactly found... I managed to procure it from a non-traditional source but I would say that it is very much mine now.Any ethical issues here, Mr 'Burglar'?
No. None at all. The ring is mine. All mine.So, back to your achievements. Tell me more.
Truth be told, everything has been a bit of train wreck really. There are quite a few people who are pretty unhappy. Darkness is enveloping the world. Smaug was darn unreasonable. Gandalf has disappeared who knows where. Team work has not been brilliant. Thorin's project leadership style is very hard to predict. I have tried talking with him but he seems overly focused on this stone. And as for the elves, I thought they were meant to be helping us! So we haven't got very far really. Sorry.What are you plans now? How do you intend to improve things here on in?
Well, I am going to step up. I will start with Thorin and sort out his leadership. Then I will find Gandalf and remind him of our health & safety, lone worker and risk management policies. We may have to let Smaug go. And then a bit of team building between the dwarves and elves. And maybe somehow we will manage to sort out this darkness thing..? It is not looking good though.And the ring?